4 down 2 more to go...

I'm having my final now..two more papers to go..and I'm free on wed when the clock strike 12pm...then, my holiday begins..don't know why after the dnc paper, the holiday mode is half on..right now, there are some stuffs which I need to choose..really bother me..

1st- wed or thurs ( sunway, genting or shopping)

2nd- I want to watch 2012 with my dear and my frenz wanna watch with me too..how??>.<

3rd- sony ericsson satio or iphone 3Gs? price about the same..*sigh*

I want to go shopping.....but but..I guess I will broke for the 3 things listed above..haiz..still got few bags and cloth waiting for me...haiz haiz..dilemma now..*sad*

another one..

I guess those who added me in the msn..should be noticed that I still put the same pm for more than 2 weeks..I think this is the first time that I never change it my pm for so long..but who's care..it's obviously that I still pissed off...and please stop bothering me..just leave me alone..and do whatever thing you all want..I hate liessss...and if you all think that I'm rude..YES I AM..because as I said, I don't give a damn to whatever shit anymore..why do I need to care your feeling when you never care mine? Well done!!!From the view of respect turns to disrespect..what else you all want?*claps*

these few weeks, thanks to my dear for accompany me and be there for me...without him, I guess I will let go everything..because I've totally fade up and disappointed with you all..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

by the way, I would like to wish my dear and all my friends who gonna sit for EOS tomorrow~~~good luck and all the best...hope everything goes smoothly and everyone do well in their exam...I believe you all can do it and pass with excellent grade...gambateh and add oilssss....*wink*

stop bothering me!!

Honestly, this question really never come across my mind at all..I know that none of my family read my blog..that's why I typing it at here..I really dislike...hate...and I can tell you that I really CAN'T ACCEPT it...and I don't want it to be happen..I don't mind nor give a damn to whoever saying me selfish or not understanding..who ever dare to come to me and talk those craps to me..I won't give face to them neither..only if you are me..and you facing the same situation with me..then you got the right to talk with me about that..or else..please keep your mouth shut..and don't bother me..and don't ever give me that kind of expression or face showing that I'm the one who wrg..please..your dad is still around..and you will never understand my feeling..you won't feel anything when the needle is not poke on you..things will always easy to say rather than do..although you say you won't mind but when it's really happen on you then another different story..don't ever try to fool around with me about this..I really meant it..

and bare in your mind...I hate ppl trying to hide things from me..and act like nth...you think I'm stupid or what? please don't try to tell lie or create a story..just try to make ppl feel that you don't know anything at all..I'm not blind nor deaf..

seriously, I will hate you and I don't mind let others put the blame on me..as I say..I dont give a damn to anyone of u when comes to this..

Only one week..

yeah yeah...I'm having one week holiday with my lovely notess and little cutie scientific eng report...the week after holiday, I will have D n C practical quiz on wed...antimicrobial quiz on thurs..fri maybe a SE listening test..then the next monday will be another D n C theory quiz...*sobs sobs*..what a hectic life!!!!!!!!!

others have one month study breaks...but it's ok..for now, I'm gonna work hard and fight until 18 of nov..then I will have about one n half month holiday "provided I pass all my six subjects"...ngek ngek ngek~~ but but..I dont want so fast come to next years...instead I should say I hate next years...nono is next 3 yrs..sigh~~~what to do...T.T

Gone far far away

Everything will change from time to time...You can own everything and be the happiest one in the world but you might lost everything just within a sec...

I used to be the luckiest one last two years ago but now, I don't think I'm de luckiest anymore...not bcoz of I lost everything but I had lost someone who really love me and care for me...sometimes when I heard my frenz talk about their daddy, I will just keep quiet and just give a smile to them..seriously, I'm not jealous instead I feel happy for my frenz..just that I think myself how come he leave me so early? If god really exist, then why god don't let me to have my daddy till I grew up?

today I went to the temple and pray for my daddy and my grandpa..when I saw until my dad name on the board there, suddenly I feel like speechless...lots of memories come across my mind...this year is the second time I come here and pray for my dad..I still remember my dad use to joke even during the ceremony...he said, ''u all try to count how much they earn for this kind of ceremony?''..juz a paper thingy you all willing to pay for 300 plus..500 plus...he even ask us to try to burn the gigantic ship which made up of paper before the ceremony starts..see what will happen...haih all these can only bcome my memory deep down my heart...

I miss my dad so much....

@.@

I don't know whether it is a good news or a bad one..these few days I've been rushed myself for the reports..just to make sure that I got enough of time for preparing my AMT quiz which fall on this thurs...BUT BUT...today, our lecturer told us that the quiz will be postphone and let us know when the exact date is confirm..I wish to finish the quiz so that I can move on to another killing subject, CVS which will fall on the next fri...sigh~~~

well, more chapters we have to cover as the date for the quiz carry forward to week 12 or 13...and I really don't understand why we need to study all those clinical stuffs for AMT...i know that we are going to apply it during our clinical in yrs 4...but but..i think that things we study now more or less about the same vt what my frenz studying in medi course..wth!!!!!!

how are we going to study all those pathology when we dont even know the basic stuff?????????

haizz...i think i should stop merungut now and back to my notes...it's no use to crying over spilled milk...everything is just too late...T-T

move move move!!!

I can't move anymore...

Can I stay there for a while??

Or can I pause everything just for a few secs??

=.=

lalalalala~~~

salam sejahtera kepada tuan pengerusi majlis, para hakim yang alif lagi bijaksana, guru-guru dan para hadirin sekalian.

muahahahaha, ingin sangat moi ni nak menyampaikan sebuah syarahan yang bertajuk bla bla bla....dah gila kot...haha bukannya ade apa-apa peristiwa yang menarik kot nak ditulis..tapi ikut hati moi ni..hendaknya catat sedikit sebanyak dalam blog ini..haha

tanganku ni dah tersangat letih...entah dah balut berapa buah buku yang setinggi macam gunung kinabalu tu...tapi, tak apelah..janji dia gembira..aku pun gembira juga tu...jika bukannya dia yang kacau kacau masa ku tengah membalut tu..rasanya tak sampai satu jam pun i dah habis balut bukunya tu...memang nak kena tu...tak bisa focus membaca buku tu..asyik jalan sini jalan sana...sekejap nak minum sekejap nak baring kat katil tu...memang lucu budak ni punya character ni...aku pula yang rasa tension dan bimbang dia tu..isnin ade fa..tapi dia tu tak risau langsung...memang tak faham betul apa yang dipikirkan tu..

rindunya selimut babi ku kat katil tu...rasanya nak pi tidur tapi tak bisa...walaupun babi ku melambai-lambai tangannya ngan ku...tapi aku harus menolak permintaan dia tu dengan kejam...kalau tidak, mampus ku nanti...

haha...amoi mic, pi la baca buku..masa hujung minggu tu dah nak habis tu...janjiannya pun dah ditunai tu...walaupun masih ade ruang untuk memperbaiki, buat setakat masa ini, i dah teramat gembira...yooohoooo~~~

think think think.....

dear mic,

there are few things what you should and shoudn't do..

you should

• think positively (i'm trying but...)
• stay focus on your study instead of simply think this and that *slaps*
• control your emotion
• lost your weight

you shouldn't

• trust people so easily
• let your temper and anger overcome your rationality
• jealous
• care other's feeling more than care yourself

bare in mind gal...please think of it and try to do it...not for anyone but for your own good...

Back....

I'm now officially say tata to my holiday and start my Year 2 Sem 1...I think I have to sleep well before go for the lectures...haih these few days keep fishing in the class...try very hard to jot down some notes but end up I fall asleep...my eye lids were so heavy till I cant open my eyes to stay awake..what to do..all my class from 8am until 12.30...no afternoon class unless for the practical session which start from 2pm till 6pm...

today, went home early and take a nap...but cant really hae a good rest...dunno why le...then face my laptop for whole evening doind nth...waste my time...haih..everyone is so busy with their study...still dream and dream...wake up pls....you gonna change your attitudes...14 weeks are freakin short...

sigh~~

.....

I can't imagine how fast my heart beat right now.

I hate tachycardia.

*sigh*

Cry

I don't know what happen these few days...my mood can be so down...nvr emo until like this before in my life....seriously, i can cry out loud any time and any place...i just feel want to cry and cry only...i can't release my feeling out now which make me so suffer...i wish there a shoulder for me to cry and someone who can be there for me with the tissue when i cry...

Random

I'm really stress and enough of it. If you don't know how to choose and make decision, then let me help you to choose. And make sure everyone stick with the decision that have been made. You know words can hurt people so much especially those that come out from mouth. And you should know and clear that which words can be say out. As you said, once said, it cannot be taking back. Once hurt, the scar will remain there forever. You should understand the meaning of these two phrases.

감미로운 기억

Miss the days I have with you,

Miss the weather thou it's not that chill,

Miss the way you treat me,

Miss the words you said to me,

Miss every single little thing about you,

and treasure the moment I spend my life with you.

I miss you~~

Yeah, I miss my piglet so muchie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't go away

你還是走了 我有點不捨
該說點什麼
我不是哭了 是陽光折射
眼睛也 紅了顏色

不懂 為什麼快樂 像冰淇淋 口中
溶化得 特別 衝動
不懂 為什麼樹葉 染紅的時候
就到要分手

Don't, don't go away
我還捨不得 你不要走
Don't, don't go away
從來不曾一個人 生活
有人分享才值得 擁有

我還在聽著 你寫過的歌
留言在部落格
成長的選擇 沒有過預設
像蘋果 一樣青澀

不懂 為什麼快樂 像冰淇淋 口中
溶化得 特別 衝動
不懂 為什麼樹葉 染紅的時候
就到要分手

Don't, don't go away
我還捨不得 你不要走
Don't, don't go away
從來不曾一個人 生活

能不能夠 讓時間回頭
So don't, don't go away

Don't, don't go away
我還捨不得 你不要走
Don't, don't go away
從來不曾一個人 生活
有人分享才值得 擁有

yoohoo~~~

after more than 3 weeks battle...

finally, I managed to fight back for my freedom....weeeee~~~~

muahahaha...suddenly feel so relief now...no need hit the stack of booksss and bringing my notes to everywhere...i can sleep for how many hours i want....i wanna say tata to my panda eyesss....dun wanna be panda pung at least for this one month holidayss....

things that I planning to do during my holidayss~~~

• Shopping
• Sing K
• Tripssss
• Spend my time with pig
• Badminton

suddenly i feel wanna buy many many things till i drop....but too bad...i dont have enough money to do so...wakakakaka...

omg~~i guess i've gained weight at least 1 KG....less than one week, i ate steamboat for 4 times and sushi for twice...haha...but that day we went to bandar puteri for shabu shabu was quite nice...with the wormzzz...muahahaha...then de bbq and steamboat buffet at sunway there was nice too...thanks god that four of us were safe for the journey to the restaurant on that nite...haha sit lee has a good driving skills....or else....we gonna laying on the bed in hospital or .........X.X

haha...i'm looking forward for the genting trips and another tripsss.....yoohoo~~~

=D

Goshhhhh......

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

my final exam started since last monday...

but only 3 down....

arrgghhh~~~which mean there still got 3 more paper to go till the next wed.....

why don't just finish all the papers within two weeks???

honestly, i'm soooo sicked when the feeling for the exam being dragged for so darn long....

almost 20 daysss gotta hit the books everyday...

the one week study break which is soooo insufficient...

haizzzzz.....still have to bare with this kind of stupid feeling for 9 more days....eeeewwwwww

started my final earlier than my frenzzz but they gonna sayonara with their final much earlier than me....

wth~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

stressssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tensionnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want my holiday~~~~~please wait for me........T-T

tikaman yang berbisa

tak pernah menghargai kewujudannya sejak hari itu bermula

tak pernah memahami perasaannya 

tak pernah meluangkan masa deminya

hanya mahu sokongan daripadanya

hanya mahu segalanya tanpa memberi sebarang kepadanya

hanya melukai hati yang diberi olehnya

entah kewujudannya dalam hatinya

mungkin tak bermakna dalam hidupnya

entah kata-kata yang dicurahkan kepadanya 

entah janji-janji yang dibuat deminya

mungkin sekadar perasaan simpati terhadapnya

nyawa-nyawa ikan....

mataku yang tak bisa buka sepenuhnya..ingin sangat nak bersantai tu....baring di atas katil yang kepunyaan aku bersama dengan anak babi dan selimut daripada sayangku...emosi ku macam saham bursa aje...sekejap naik sampai mendadak....sekejap pula turun sampai ke neraka tu...mungkin itu adalah PMS yang dikatakan oleh kawan-kawan ku...

biar aku ceritakan apa pasal emosi ku boleh menjadi bagai ombakan di lautan china selatan tu....

aku menerima sepucuk mesej dari salah seorang rakan sekelas ku....dia memberitahu bahawa si nelson tu enggan menyemak kertas ujian kita dengan alasan yang tak bermasuk akal...dia berpendapat bahawa sesiapa yang menggunakan liquid paper ataupun yang jenis tape tu semasa ujian dijalankan tergolong dalam pelajar yang meniru...badak sumbu tu...aku tak tau dia tu sama ade terlalu malas nak menyemak kertas ujian tu ke atau nak membalas dendam terhadap pelajar-pelajar farmasi...bagiku, sekiranya si nelson tu mendapati ada pelajar yang meniru semasa ujian itu..mengapa dia tidak terus menangkap pelajar-pelajar yang terlibat dan membatalkan kelayakan mereka..dia harus tahu siapa yang terlibat dan bukannya melibatkan sesiapa yang guna liquid paper...entah nak labelkan dia tu tak berakal ke atau apa la...sekiranya pelajar tu nak meniru, tak bermakna dia akan mengguna liquid paper...dia boleh menggaris tulisannya....jika macam ni...72 orang pelajar meniru dan semua gagal dalam biostat....memang inginku nak lempang si nelson tu...

hari ni...aku menang dia tu semasa main pool...haha mungkin dia tu pura-pura bagi aku menang la...mungkin juga aku menang dengan kebolehan ku...haha perasan sangat....lepas tu, aku emo pula...lebih-lebih lagi kena dibuli....nangis tak berhenti-henti....nasib baik akhirnya ade pujukan...jika tidak, dah banjir kilat tu di seluruh kl....haha...

bagi aku...hari ini, masa berlalu dengan perlahannya...perlahan seperti kura-kura sedang merangkak tu...duduk termenung di depan komputerku...tak berminat langsung untuk menyentuh buku-buku yang tersusun setinggi gunung everest tu...mungkin disebabkan insan ciptaan tuhan tu yang membuat ku beremosi macam ini...tapi, aku dah merancang untuk membalas serangannya..buat masa ini, aku hanya menunggu peluang keemasan yang akan berlaku bila-bila masa...hahahaha..

mampus ku...baru aku sedar badanku menjadi gempal semacam khinzir yang hanya tidur dan disuap makan dalam kandang tu...tanya pandangan keluarga ku memang bazirkan tenaga ku aje...baik ku percaya pada cermin dan alat timbangan tu...tapi, aku dah rasa lapar ni dan ingin ku menghabiskan semua lauk-pauk yang ada di atas meja tu...T_T

mungkin..

entah mengapa..aku berasa sedih hari ni...mungkin aku memang tak sesuai untuk menjalankan tugasan ini..kadang-kala aku berasa putus asa dan ingin berpatah balik...masa sudah pun berlalu dengan begitu lantasnya..tidak menunggu sesiapa pun...mungkin wujudnya seseorang yang dapat mengambil alih jawatan saya dan menjalankan tugas ini lebih baik daripada saya..apakah yang sedang aku nantikan? aku tidak menyalahkan sesiapa pun..sebenarnya, keputusan ini berada dalam genggaman ku.. adakah itu berpilih kasih ataupun itu adalah sikap dia yang tidak ku sedari sejak dulu lagi? aku tak tahu sama ada saya harus percaya telingaku dengan kata-katanya ataupun percaya apa yang ku lihat dan tertulis pada mukanya dengan mataku sendiri..mungkin ada isi-isi tersirat daripadanya...tapi, aku rela mahu isi-isi tersurat kerana aku tidak mahu berfikir lagi...

buat masa ini, aku harus tumpukan sepenuh perhatian untuk ujian pada hari khamis ni..aku tidak mahu menyesal lagi..

Randomly~~

oppzz...almost one week never update my blog...actually i wanna update it few times already but then, felt so lazzziiieee and don't know what to put for the title..@.@

today is sunday...again i'm alone at home with my lui lui...mom went to s'pore with frenzz and bro they all went to penang...haha but i get used to it...can do whatever i wanna do..muahaha so today i decided to do something special....hugging with my lovely pns notes and my tortora (someone say tortora for I****)...=.=''

hmm..i had noticed some changes and i can feel it too...i know it's not gonna be easy for me and need some time...maybe long...maybe short...only the independent variable will know...bcoz the result will always rely on how the independent variable affect the dependent variable...muahaha apply what the orange taught us in biostat...thanks to the IV :D

yeah~~these few weeks at least i can go makan makan with my frenz after my class....make my life a bit different and not so dull compared with last time...i guess i gonna fail for my diet plan...lmao~~~

untouchable

wrote your name in the sky,

but the wind blew it away.

wrote your name in the sand,

but the waves washed it away.

wrote your name in the heart,

and forever it will stay.

learned the full meaning of sharing and caring

and having all the dreams come true,

learned the full meaning of being in love

by being loving with you.

Sundaysss or sundaesss...

hehe yesterday got the thought of tidying my room....packing all my A-levels books and put inside my wardrobe where the only place i can found in my room to store my booksss....haha then need to clean up my drawersss...too messy with my accessories (hairbandsss, earringsss, braceletsss and etc etc...)...wat else i still need to do on this fine sunday....yaya need to study for my coming PNS quizz...left two more quizzesss to go...yeah yeah~~~

and ya, i'm kinda feel excited for this whole week...i guess i noe why...muahahaha miss my donkey so muchieeeessss....then tml can go makan makan and walk walk with my super duper D after my class...wakakakaka ^o^

Special for my dad...

Today is your birthday..it's been for exactly one year you left us since 20 of march..i really very miss you...i knew that this is not the thing you can decided or control..if i can choose, i will never let you go out on that day...i still remembered that day, you helped me to pay for my D license and when the people asked you whether I'm your 'qin kam' but you told people tat I'm your 'man kam'..you still joke with me that you gonna deduct the money from my salary which will never come true..this is the last conversation I've with you in my whole life...sometimes, i wish thing happen on me rather than you...you will always give the best for me...when anyone in the family scold me or anything, you will be the first one who protect me and comfort me..i still remember that one day i argued with my bro..and i cried in my room...you are the one who knocked my door and talked to me..you said that you're here and asked me not to cry anymore...i really miss the life when you still around..everyday i drove home, i will see your wearing your formal shirt with short pants..busy in the garden..pluck the leaves...mowing the grass...but now, i wont be able to see this happen anymore...why i can only spent 20 years with you??you haven't see me graduate for my pharmacy..i know i have to be tough especially in front of mom...i cannot cry in front of her...my tears are flowing down my cheek now..i know you will always be there for me...and you will always in my heart...i love you, dad....

Into ashes...

well...I know past few weeks I really tried my best to do what I have to for the seek of something....and the donkey noticed it..I feel glad that it is worth for me to do all these stuffs after all..at least, the donkey in the zoo noticed that while others are just doing their own stuffs and continue their life...but, sometimes I do really think and question myself..'why you have to do these and faces everything by your own'..'why you can only release and express everything that keep deep bottom of your heart once a week?'..last week, I have a thought of giving up while driving back home...never have this kind of thought before...but it happened on last week...

I wonder if I really exhausted with all the reports, assignments, presentation and quizzes as well that lead me to feel this way...every week, there will definitely some surprise for me which make me upset for the whole week... hmmm, I wish there is enough surprise for me and no more f**** in my life~~~

Things that I noticed...

hmm...I've few questions would like to ask even though me myself have my own answer already...i guess i will have two version of answers from you guys...well...let's start~~

1. Normally when a guy talk with a girl, does it mean that the guy is flirting with the girl?

2. How to classify the girl whether she is desperate or so called "cheap"?

3. Who should be the one to take a move, guy or girl?

4. Will you care what people think about you for what you've done?

5. Do you mind if 9 out of 10 peoples are disagree with your decision? Will you just give up or just carry on with what you think is right and feel happy with?

6. Will a guy hugged and kissed a girl if he don't love her?

Exhausted....

this whole week really a tired one for me...i dunno why..no report..no quizzes for this week but yet still soooo tired...yester i cant sleep well...dunno why...pusing kiri then pusing kanan...haizzz...
these few days, i keep simply thing about something..i noe i shouldnt think like tat but...still got tat kind of feeling....haizzz hate to be like tat and i wish i can get rid of this stupid feeling soon...i have to keep remind myself....i guess time will prove everything..and right now, wat i can do is just wait and see what will be going happen next ba...nth much i can do also...sob sob~~

Tata~~~

well...yesterday slept at 12 something and woke up around 10 something...i think this is the longest duration i slept since my class commerce...but still dunno why...feel tired and only if there is nth for me to worry..i guess i will sleep until the max~~force myself to wake up and then, found out that i'm home alone..no wonder the house is so quiet...even de maids also not around..wakakaka...

so, decided to go find my frenz and study at there...mana tau..she fall sick dy..i sitting on de chair and busy with my pharmaco while she sleeping on her bed...*sob sob*..i wish i can sleep until so nyenyak like her...haha after flip and flip my notes, mission failed and I fall asleep....around 4 something, we went to take our brunch at kfc~~~lepas tu, i went back home and go eat bak kut teh with my sis and two monkeys around 7 something...haiz...wei o wei~~u're really dying soon..eat so much....haiz....

alright~~i gonna set up my mind and say tata with yummy yummy foodsss....last but not least, i'm gonna change my lifestyle too start from tomorrow onwardssss~~~>.<

The happiest day for me since that day..v^-^v

wow~~the weather is so nice to sleep with my dear's blanket and hugging my piggy..but some of us who are so-lucky have to go for the patient counselling thingy with Ms. Penny..haha don noe why i kinda love this kind of counselling session like the lecturer give us a scenario and we have to find out the information related with the drugs and disease...haha today, i act as a pharmacist and consult the patient who have erectile dysfunction problems and hypertension..so last nite, my brain is all about the viagra and verapamil ( drugs for HBP) thingy~~~wakakaka luckily Ms. Penny didnt comment much but advice me to conclude all the drugs info into few sentences b4 ended the talk with the patient...haha she said,' you cannot expect the patient to remember so many info about the drugs'...so i'm gonna try to improve my counselling skill in my real practical session..^^

then, planned to have my break at old town...haha mana tau...i misunderstood someone..tot someone is making fun with me again...lmao~~~after tat, we went to mid valley and had our brunchie with group of frenz~~~lepas tu, bersinggah at borders for one hours..tgk sini tgk sana...akhirnya, someone managed to buy a book...wakakaka the history of medicine....we walked from gardens to mid valley and then from mid valley back to gardens...

hehe then i get something special from someone~~haha love it so muchie...^@^

upside downie...

today...finished my class as usual...but don't noe why my feeling is kinda weird weird...not bcoz of someone...when i passed by the G floor, i saw someone busy on the phone..i guess he nvr see until me...huh..back to my feeling..i think my feeling turn to be like this when Dr. Thet told us that we can check our quiz results either this evening at 5pm or tml..b4 she ended the announcement, she said..'you guys will be shock when you check your results later'..haizzz...this make me feel so nervous and worry...i think i will be one of them who fail for de quiz...

now, another quiz on thurs...which i cant concentrate in the revision...keep worry about the med chem results...i noe once you passed up the paper, you had nth to do with it anymore and just accept it once the results release...T.T

what should i do now........i have to forget anything bout the result and 100% focus on my revision for the coming quiz.....

Privacy..........

I wish I have my own room so that i can study till how late I wanna...
I dont understand why ppl can be so inconsiderate...
I really feel very tired...
Why i have to tolerate with you since this room is mine?????
I want to listen song while study...is my own business and none of your business...
I really feel wanna shout out loud in the midnight...
None of you will understand my feeling of stayin up late...
I really dunno what to say anymore...
Please dont ever try to challenge me when I really freaking tired and frustrated..
Now, i really understand how you guys feel when you are studying and that ppl turned on the music loudly.........

Kenangan terindah..

Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
selama itu pun
aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu, kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

h@pp!e BiRthd@y tO my d3aR......

today my mood kinda good~~~

just sat for my med chemie quizzz...not enough time for me to write...some questions macam same aje...so just simply hentam la...haha...steric shield effect, stereoelectronic modification,disjunctive approaches and bla bla bla...just assume myself did charity today bcoz i donate so many marks for the paper~~~

once the clock struck 3pm...haha tak peduli the paper anymore...my brain only think what am i going to order for my steamieboat...><

well..our class ended at 6pm...9 of us..me, alicia, hui chin, chee ming, phyllis, chiew sia, tze ying, kah keet and zhan yit went to the steamieboat nearby midah there...the first time all of us gather and go for dinner...haha bagus juga...lagipun, actually we wanna celebrate hui chin's birthday which is suppose to be on tomolo...kasihan mereka that need to sit mid term for m'sian study on satur...muahahaha....

Tiredzzzzzz..............

My mind is so kelam-kabut now...
Mentally and physically tired....
I feel wanna go and sleep...but I can't...
My med chem quiz on thursday...
But..I still go lepak-lepak till so late only go home...
Don't care le...again never eat for my dinner...
Lack of energy already...
I can feel everything I do now is terlantun balik...

Speechless...

I really feel very tired..
Mentally and physically tired..
The first time I dont feel wanna find ppl to express my feeling..dont want to talk with anyone..
I dont know anything go wrong with me..
I just wanna try to hide and keep everything inside my heart..
I dont want to care and think how ppl might think of me..
Why I have to care his feeling and accept everything of him but he is not?
I tried very hard but still no one is satisfied with me..
Why ar?? I should ask myself.
Just want to lock myself in the room and listen to jacky's songs.
The only way to make me feel better.
And the only way that make me flask back about the past.

Extremely tired.

The worst valentine day in my life..

Guess what..someone give me a big present to me as a valentine gift..I cried the whole night..I just dont feel like do anything..my mind is freaking upset and simply think..I dont know what happen to myself..can suddenly feel dizzy and then my vision can be black out...maybe due to blood level sugar low..last time, I did experienced borderline anemia...tak ape le..no one will care..dun feel like eating also..today, i just ate my break+lunch+dinner at 7 something..nvm le..I should accept it..

Distance...

These few weeks don't know why..I feel there is a distance between me and someone..the distance I mean here is not like never seeing each other often or talk with each other..*sigh*..is like I feel that someone is changing from one day to another day...I guess maybe the status or things that someone is looking for...somehow, I felt happy and glad to see someone is able do things well and his capability..I really feel proud of someone..but on the other side, me myself notice the distance or barrier that slowly build between us..I really feel very upset and I know that nothing can be done for this..because someone had chose the way of he want for his career and I don't have such a right to stop someone from doing that..only if I have this right, I think I won't do that too..I don't wanna be selfish..the decision is on my hand..just depend on me whether want to continue be like that or just let it be..I really don't know..for now, I just want someone to be happy..that's all..

Week 4...

omg~~still got few more weeks to go then I have to sit for 6 quizzes...haih I still haven't do any revision for what I had learned in the lecture yet...still play and play...then if I not mistaken, I have three more assignmentss to do; one for medi chem *none of us jot down the title*, biostatics (awareness of breast cancer and prevention strategy bla bla bla...) and lastly, com skills which the lecturers still discussing the title they should assign for us to do...haih still got reportzz somemore....luckily there is only 3 sub have lab experiments...

argghhh....have to concentrate in my study jor..no more play play..haha i think fri and satur only can rest ba...gonna start my pharmaco notess dy...jia you jia you~~~<~oo~>

Try not to be emo anymore~~

hehe...today i never cry oh..first time never cry in front of someone...wakaka...big gal already luu..actually, nothing to cry wan..just sometimes feel sad when repeat asking the same questions again and again..haha i love spending time with someone after my class...wakaka..but somehow..we can only spend few hours then i gotta go home already due to some reasons...someone told me something..at first, i felt disappointed because the day i wanna spend with..someone is not free..wat to do le..nvm lore...study go first...i think i understand someone de...think to a brighter side ba...this year cannot then ma next year lore...haha but still, i hoping something will happen on next saturday...wakaka..someone lecture me a lot today...i guess someone is just care bout me..if not, someone wouldnt give a d*** on what i did and how ppl treat me...*winkwink*..kena lecture but feel happy pula...sot sot dy...wakaka...i think too many "some" in this post...u guys maybe confused what am i trying to say...haha tak ape le..janji i know what the craps i'm saying and how my heart feel then can already..muahahaha~~~

bla bla black sheep~~

hmm..I feel a bit relief now..coz just finish my PNS report..haha tml need to pass up, today only pula start to rush...*wakaka* but I still have another pharmaco report need to do..too lazy for now..coz i only slept for 3 hours and keep myself awake until now...haha tml baru buat since the due date is on friday...

haha think until tml 2pm only got class...so happy and relax...but still have to go school by 10am...haha..coz need to print my baby report outzzz..still got wat ya...tml is wednesday...dont noe wanna go pm with alicia or not le...haha maybe she wanna buy vege again...*wakaka*

btw..I'm officially shop until drop liao...half of my pocket money gone jor...*huhuhu*..nvm le..try to eat less and shop less, i guess still can survive till the end of this month de...muahaha..feeling sleepy now..keke..time for me to go oi oi luu...*yawning*..mite mite^^

Sickzzz..

My mood still very down...just don't feel like doing anything..facing my laptop and view the contact list in my msn..trying to find someone to talk with but no one is there..maybe everyone is afraid of me bcoz of my mood..they try to comfort me and cheer me up..but i still unhappy and wanna cry..nvm le..who carezz..

Yesterday nite, i fell sick already..sore throat then followed by cough..i guess it is a package so, maybe later i will get fever and flu..the villa I'm staying now is very nice and big..there are two swimming pools, one for adult * almost 300cm * then another one is for kids..besides that, this villa consists of 7 rooms..of coz i'm staying the master bedroom with my mom...hehe..then ar..the bathroom is damn chun...u can shower under the sun or moon..haha i really love the design of this villa very muchies...mua dream house in the future..haha maybe my future hubby can afford and build one for me..mana tahu..haha too early day dreaming already..too bad i cant upload the pic right now..but dont worry..i will snap a lot of nice pics and post them in my blog and my facebook as well..

Nothing more.

I don't know what to say and do anymore. The thing that I waiting for, I think it won't happen for my entire of life. Still remember my cny resolutions..stay happy and dun cry, please treat me nicely and care me. All these I think I've failed already. I cried all the way driving back to my house just now. I think I'm the one who stubborn for this rel. Maybe what I did, he won't appreciate or maybe not the things he want.

In his heart, I'm always wrong and not good. I knew I did something before but too late. He is no longer the one I knew and the scar will be there forever. The words that hurt me the most is he saying me flirt with other without any prove. Nvm. I feel tired already. I don't wanna play anymore. I'm a loser yet a failure. I shouldn't fall in love and should stays single from now on.

When you love someone more than he or she love you, you will know my feeling right now. I'm not acting pity or whatever. And I don't need anyone to feel pity on me. So, if anyone feel I'm acting, please leave my blog right now.

Maybe I'm not the right gal for him. He won't treat the one he love like this. I hope that he will hate me for the rest of his life. Wish him stay happy and best of luck.

CNY resolutionssss...

Haha..since I am extremely free now, so I come up with my resolutions for this moo moo year...most of the people will list out their resolutions on the beginning of the year which mean new year la..but I kinda different from others...muahaha...

So, my moo moo resolutions are:~~~

~ Study hard for my courses *at least get B's*

~ Want to lose my weight * till 42kg*

~ Don't want to simply think anymore esp negative thinking...*hurt*

~ Make myself look prettier..wakaka I bet many ppls will *rofl*

~ Always stay ^o^ and no more =.= or T.T gal..

~ No more silly things..

And lastly, the things I waiting for I wish it will come true in this moo moo year.

Yaya..I don't wanna get hurt or cry anymore..please treat me nicely and care about me..

CNY eve...

I don't have the mood to celebrate cny this year at all..

Last few years when the cny is around the corner, I will ask money from my dad to buy some new clothes. And my dad will always make me very angry then only willing to give the money to me..*weird weird*..But this scene wont happen in my life anymore. Don't even have the chance to talk with my dad anymore. Last night, I cried a lot until 6am only fall asleep. Special thanks to someone who always on my side and company me when I really very down that time.

Just now, I went to jusco with my nephew..I thought want to buy some shirts and long jeans pants but I can only managed to buy one shirt bcoz all the pants left big size. Again, I saw someone's car. I feel very confused after I bumped with someone and someone's family. Someone just give a smile then just continue shopping. I really feel whether I am just a normal normal frenz. I really don't know.

Am I think too much or I'm just being too sensitive?

Maybe yes. I always like to simply think and only think to the negative side. Even a very very small matter, I will think this and that. Hate to being like tat.

Generally, my blog is a very emo blog. Sorry ya but I don't care much bcoz here the only place I can express and speak out whatever I want except for some P&C stuff.

Bleeebleeeeee~~

Yesterday I not in the mood to blog bcoz I'm very very tired plus let ppl bully le...so, b4 11pm, I already off9 and go to sleepzzz...tried to stop simply think that make my mood bcome more even worse..

hmmm...today, the communication skill was very fun..haha the funniest lecturer in SOP...I guess most of my frenz will agree with what I said...haha...the term he used such as grave yard shift, bs, lcly and etc etc....summore, he allow us to eat and drink whatever in the class but excluding crackers la...wow~~he is much more better than Ms. Penny..compared with last week lecture, that lecturer make us fall asleep but as for today, we laughed throughout the 2 hours class...XD

Looking forward for tml...bcoz I'm gonna make guinea pig satay..haihzz feel sad for them le..but wat to do...muahaha><

happie happie~~

haha..today 3 of us..me, alicia and my darling went to KLCC for the smoking interview thingy...after class, we had to sit Lrt from Bdr Tasik Selatan to Masjid Jamek..from there, we gonna sit monorail to KLCC..when we reached there, my darling pula say wanna go shop shop after the interview stuff...at first, my darling and I thought the interview is like the kind of roadshow we saw in the complex...mana tahu, terkena tipu by alicia pula..need to walk across the road from the klcc to another building..bahayanya..somemore it was damn hot..

Normally, alicia is the one who afraid of sunshine..but demi her sweet sweet, she sacrificed the umbrella for us..haha..for this interview, three of us have to pura-pura act that we are smokers and alicia have to purposely walked to the mamak stall to buy the cigaratte for us...I took the salem menthol and they took the dunhill light..haha pai sea la...after the interview section, each of us get RM 40 as a reward..lolzzz...then someone told me that the Kamal is closed at 5pm..wth..three of us run as fast as we can to the Lrt station and then go to Dang Wangi to sit monorail to Chow Kit..I pula let two of them esp alicia say I demi seseorang pula...when we reached there, the ppl told us that it closed at 8pm...again I kena shoot from them coz of someone told me wrg infomation...haihzz...after bought the katzung's pharmaco, we have to run back to the station again coz it's raining...damn tired le...haha then, we went to sushi king for our dinner..

yaya..I feel happy too bcoz someone is kinda happy today..><

Yippy ya ya~~~

Today I supposed to have meeting with exhibition team for the PHC thingyzz at 1.30pm..so, I had my quick lunch with my primary frenz who just start her first day class in UCSI..haha she study mass comm and I compared her timetable with mine...wth~~~she only need to come for mon,wed, fri and satur...haih..I pula need to go to school from mon to satur..*sObs soBs*..okok come back to the lunchie..I used 15 min to finish my dry pan mee and rushed to the school of pharm..mana tahu..we wait there for about 20 min then only the seniors told us that my beloved one hilang diri..then we walked back to attend our PNS class..haha my frenz and I saw the Mr. Enoch was yawning when he was standing right in front us during the lecture...muahaha...then, the class ended one hour earlier which mean for those who never take malaysian studies including me only attend one hour class...haih purposely drive from my house to school just to attend one hour class...really swt le...After the class, I thought I have to study alone in the library..but at last, alicia stay back with me bcoz she said the weather was damn hot and she lazy to walk back home...haha..we study until 6pm and then, I go walk walk with kok wei, kenneth, winnie and zyang at jusco cheras selatan..haha ^^

Well..something happened on me today and I really feel very happy with it...thx ya..><

8 years back...

Time really won't wait for us and everything is change as we grown up.

Last night, I had gathering with my primary friends at Gilly cafe nearby Leisure mall there. In the afternoon, elaine was still text me and asked me whether still on or not bcoz some of them can't make it and only left 5 of us..haha since I already packed my stuffs and prepared for this gathering, so I just replied..'why not? I don't mind'..then we supposed to be at there at 7pm..but I was late for that and almost 8.45 only reached there..haha but still, I kena shoot from them..I was suprised that there are more than 5 ppls who came for the gathering..*thumb up*..wowsss..among the group, I'm the one who left since junior six and so, most of them never see me for about 8 years ago..haha I like become the watak utama keep took pic with everyone..the most funniest part is, once they saw me, they like keep asking each other 'Is that really sook wei? why now she look totally different compare with last time?'..especially see wan..she said why the way I talk bcome so gentle and softly?she even say..'last time you got baby fat ooo..now dont have already'..

Muahaha..maybe most of my frenz now dont know that..when I was junior 6, I really look very fat and since we are from girl school, we used to talked very loudly and whatever craps including those xxx words that we learnt from our parents..then, we keep talked about those funny stuff we did during primary school..after that, we went to Tai zhi nearby UCSI there for our second round..haha elaine don't want to become the organizer anymore as she said that she's working now and all of us are very free as in we still studying in U..muahaha some suggest that let makes gathering 6 months once then some pula suggest two month once..and I pula suggest no need to be like that..when everyone free, then we can come out anytime..so yin leng and hwee ling pula plan to come out on next week...lolzz...before we went home separately, we took some group photos standing outside of ppl's shop..

I really cant wait for our next gathering bcoz it is really fun and I really love it...and special thz to elaine..XD

Another day...

Today went to library and met amy sitting there alone...first time had lunch with her at library there..both of us ordered dry pan mee but today I never ate finish it..don't know why..ate half then just left it there..I know it seems to be kinda waste but I really can't finish it..then, I asked amy to go play piano with me..haha I taught her few songs which I just learnt it half way only..muahaha...feel pai sea also..today kinda relaxing coz 3pm only have class...guess wat..the communication skills is really really bored which taught by Ms. Penny...this sem have two healthcare subs..*dying*..the class end one hour earlier so again I go curi-curi with my darling to 1st floor and play piano again..wakaka..too bad..my darling want me to teach full canon le..so I think I need to find my si fussss to learn the whole song..><..then the PNS really another sub that need to memorize all the spinal cord,pia mater, CSF and bla bla bla...right now, I still thinking which book should I buy as a reference for each sub esp the pharmaco..troublesome le..aishhhh..no choice..I'm the one who choose this course so bare with it..T-T

Heart broken..

Today another hurt one for me..before I went to sleep, I just hoping that he stop reply me and let it go off like this..when I woke up, I receive a msg from him..he told me that I the one who force him to say that to me..I really don't know..I still ask him for a final time, but he just tried to ignore me and don't answer my question..then after class, we went to alicia's house to celebrate her belated birthday..my mood somehow turned to be ok back..then we went to night market and met until many friends..in my life, I will never thought that I will saw until him at the night market..at that moment, I was just shocked but still have to pretend that I'm nothing..in fact, I really want to faint..why he want to lie me again? If I never go to night market tonight, I guess I will never found out that he lied to me..how come why he promise me and say to me are totally different with what he did? I really don't mind for what he did but I don't like he in front of me say don't like this and that till I believe him..but today I found out that he are lied to me..these few days I had no appetite at all..after that, I never bought any food and just walked back to drive my car..I really want to know the reasons for lying me so that I really can forget him..

My first blog...

Well..today is the second day of my new semester..I cant slept well last night bcoz of something happened and yet, I don't know whether it had already settle or not..so I just woke up, took my bath and then drove to school while my soul is still wondering with the messages..during organic chem II, I tried to focus when Ms. Jessie was teaching in the front of the class..I totally blurred when she threw out some questions which are very simple yet I don't know the answer..then continue with basic medi chem, Dr. Thet already told us when is the quiz and due date for our group assignment..haih 2500 words and presentation also..lecture was so bored and we found that this sub same with healthcare..*yawning*..after class, I went to the library and sitting there alone..actually I wanna to study and revise but my heart seems like flying to some other places..I kept sms-ing and my mood really down..how come someone I knew him so well can just turned to someone who treat me like a strangers? I really don't know. I don't want to be emo gal everyday in the campus. Everyone is care about me but how come the one who I really want wont be there for me or even care me? I really speechless..